Nattering

Author anxiety: aka When Brains Attack

Obviously anxiety attacks at will, not just authors. But as an author with anxiety, who’s been at this for a while, it seems like many of us are experiencing a renewed spike right now as the pandemic stretches on…and on… (Get vaccinated ASAP, so we can have nice things!)

I’m not surprised that it’s happening to me, to everyone right now, because anxiety love loveloves unpredictability. At its best, the thing you can most predict about publishing is that it’s unpredictable (ugh!) and slow (fertile territory for storytelling writer brains to infest with stories based on the thinnest of evidence). This post was inspired by my agent Kate McKean’s latest Agents & Books newsletter, on how slow(ish) response times, particularly at the moment, do not mean you aren’t a priority or that your agent or editor secretly hates you, it’s just that they also are at wit’s end with a never-ending stack of work and their own anxieties. And that whatever it is probably isn’t an emergency, even if it feels like one to us. A gentle nudge can go a long way.

So, sure, we nod along, that makes sense. But when we’re sitting our desks feeling paralyzed by the many variables that will affect the success of our books — few of which are in our direct control at the best of times — anxiety brain will keep whispering except for meeeee. I am doomed. X or Y hates me or hates my project or both. I wasn’t even given the secret key to this clubhouse and now I’m already locked out.

Or, if you’re an aspiring author, it must just feel even more like tossing your hopes and dreams into the query abyss, or even waiting, hoping someone, anyone, you think will be a good fit for your work will reopen to queries. This talk of how busy everyone is probably makes your anxiety brain spiral in a similar I am doomed. X or Y hates me or hates my project or both. I wasn’t even given the secret key to this clubhouse and now I’m already locked out.

Then there’s the deep craft anxiety… the my book isn’t good actually and everyone is about to find out. The people just pretend to like it/me. The what if I’m not writing fast enough, what if I write too fast? What if this doesn’t sell? What if this is the flop that kills my career? I’m trying a new genre or what-have-you and they are going to think I’m a fraud, but I went there because I’m obsessed with it… (Quick spoiler alert: I know some people will argue with this, but the ONLY thing that can kill your career entirely dead or even mostly dead is YOU. And I mean it: Not even the pandemic. I might be wrong, but I hope I’m not.)

So after Kate’s post I thought I might talk a little about this from the author side, in the hope of helping someone going through author anxiety for the first or four hundredth time. Sometimes it just helps to know you are not the only one who feels this way.

How I learned to LovehateLive With My Professional Anxiety

Notice the similarities in the thought patterns I mentioned? Now there are a thousand specific iterations of this. Everyone’s anxiety works differently. Like I said, I’ve been at this awhile. I’ve talked about my anxiety journey before, but it always bears repeating, because the entire reason I got medicated for anxiety was another author talking about it openly online. (The medication was a game-changer for me, but it does NOT mean I don’t deal with anxiety anymore, alas.)

I was that clueless anxious person my entire life without knowing that’s what it was. I thought anxiety was just panic attacks. I self-diagnosed after years of doing things like mailing a ton of food to my dorm room my first low residency session at Vermont MFA in case I couldn’t make myself go out to eat in the cafeteria (note: my class was seen as somewhat snobby because we were all RIDDLED with anxiety and hung out with each other and then stayed at the B&B nearby so we could have more alone-time — I regret now that I have more perspective and better coping skills how poorly I was able to explain it when a well-meaning graduate advisor pulled me aside at the time to tell me we should gather with the others more…although that said, the fact I will be paying off that degree until I’m dead honestly entitled me to do nothing but class and my room if I chose harumph, and I like to think I was a generous classmate in workshop, etc…. end digression).

I hated talking on the phone, so much that I developed the “Pretend to be a spy” method when I started work at my first job which involved taking calls from and talking to reporters. Eventually I got over my phone phobia. And to an extent my public speaking phobia, because I did it for work, where I was not there for me, but representing an organization.

But what tipped me off that I had anxiety, capital A? I saw a freaking Tumblr post about the symptoms of anxiety two years after my first book was published. And I went… OHHHHH. That is me.

Detective at work, captain obvious

For so many reasons. And I’d started doing author events, which made it more apparent to me. Before any kind of travel I’d get super bitchy and cranky (one way anxiety manifests!). I’d get sweaty palms and feel dizzy and have a giant thing of OTC stomach remedies in my bag (I still travel with a mobile pharmacy, as I now am like an Author Mom at this for others). I was extremely lucky to know and be friends with a lot of people I’d met at that great misfit island, the science fiction convention world, or online through my blog or social media, and so I had people I could trail along behind. Once an event started, I’d be fine. Usually.

Until that fateful DragonCon/Decatur Book Festival overlapping weekend when the first Lois Lane book was just out. DragonCon is enormous, a huge crush of people, and can be overwhelming — it also has an absolutely fabulous programming track for books and put together some of the best panels I’ve been on. It’s always the same weekend as the equally fantastic Decatur Book Festival, which is smaller in theory, but in reality your events there will have much bigger audiences as an author unless you are BIG FAMOUS. And even then, Decatur’s will probably be just as big or bigger.

I had a reading at DragonCon, had to fight through its parade traffic to the subway, and was going to do my first two-author conversation moderated by a friend (thank god) at Decatur. It was hot out. Atlanta in summer hot. The event was in a tent and there were a lot of people there. I took a cold water bottle and started to roll it on my face and the back of my neck because I could feel the panic hitting. The other person involved in the conversation was late (but when she did show up thankfully turned out to be a talker, so I got myself pulled together while she gabbed away, then started to pitch in). I doubt anyone knew this was happening at the time. I went to my GP when I got home under the pretenses of a check-up and asked about anxiety medicine. Lucky for me, the first thing I tried at a low dose works well. (Meds aren’t for everyone and the process of finding them isn’t always that easy.)

Therapy? I’ve always been a believer, but I didn’t actually go for the first time until the pandemic. I started doing teletherapy with a local therapist last year because my routines were off, I wasn’t working well, and I was doing all the things you know you aren’t supposed to do to cope — eating pasta every day, drinking too much wine, skipping yoga, not writing consistently. Therapy was LIFE-CHANGING. As much as going on medication or more.

forced perspective

Why am I telling you these things? I’m fine at events now, enjoy them even, and try to introduce people who are new around. But, even having gone through all this, I’m still susceptible to anxiety patterns.

Yesterday, I sit down, I’m supposed to be doing page proofs and writing my next book which are concrete actions and those always make you feel better. And yet, instead, I start staring at my calendar and fretting about events and COVID and emailing with my (FUCKING FANTASTIC) publicist (who honestly is the best and gave me a pep talk). Even while I was in the spiral, I knew I just needed someone to tell me to calm the eff down. I think the trigger for this was actually the comedown from that amazing felt-normal getaway with writer friends I mentioned in my last post/newsletter.

Absolutely no event is going to make or break my next book or yours, unless it’s some viral thing that can’t be predicted. And that’s in the hands of readers. I also realized that if I’m this frazzled, certainly everyone working on my book and a bunch of others at my publisher feels it times 1,000 million percent (I am not great at math!). In fact, all I can do is support the great work they are doing to get the book to readers and also do my page proofs for the next book and write the one after that. Anxiety brain was not having it yesterday, despite this awareness. It’s not easy. Why?

Why are our brains like this???

… We are storytellers. Our brains naturally tell stories, and they are also over-the-top gifted at worst-case scenarios. They are not good at naturally taking a step back and looking at things calmly. They are good at empathy though (hopefully) and so putting yourself in others’ shoes, thinking outside your own jerky anxiety brain, is always worth it. Particularly in terms of remembering — particularly if you’re a white, able-bodied author like me — the privileges you have and what people who don’t have them might be going through.

Early on my other agent (yes, I have two now, one adults, one kids/YA), Jennifer Laughran, who also gives amazing peeks behind the curtain and advice, said something important to me that goes hand-in-hand with Kate’s there are no publishing emergencies:

It doesn’t matter and nobody cares.

This does not mean your work doesn’t matter and no one cares about it. Stop that, anxiety brain. It simply means whatever you’re fretting about at that particular moment, it’s probably not as big as it feels. (Unless you’ve become publishing’s protagonist of the day or season, in which case, shut up, listen, decide if you did something wrong, and if you did, figure out what you can do to own up to it, make it right if possible, and do better in the future.)

What else is the BFF of anxiety brain? Comparison. And when you’re in that spiral, social media can make it seem impossible to NOT feel like a failure. This is literally NOT a competition; it’s a competitive industry — those are two very different things. I’ve managed to publish a number of books and some were successful and some flopped and I lived to write another day. But I’m genuinely invested in other authors’ careers and successes, and here for their anxieties and failures as well (all a big part of why the Lexington Writer’s Room exists). I am also invested and care about the other people in publishing I work with, who are fantastic, super-stressed out, and often undervalued for incredibly tough jobs.

acceptance is always the last stage, right?

And I still have career anxiety. Nothing is guaranteed except that and that I still have to work my ass off to put dog and cat food in the bowls, but perspective is perspective. Things are going pretty well. I know what I want and I should do my work and trust my people.

If you’re not in that place, maybe your anxiety is telling you a true story. It does occasionally. Although it tends to overplay the negatives. The honest truth is you’ll write your way out of it, one way or another. Figure out what you want and then figure out the steps that start to get you there. Or fuck off and do something that makes you happy for a bit. Write whatever you want. But do not buy into anxiety’s telling you any of that b.s. I started off with about the doom and gloom inevitability of your future.

Getting out of our heads is essential. The pandemic has made that harder, for sure.

Also, just, if you have launched or are launching (*waves*) a book during the pandemic, it sucks. That’s not anxiety talking, that’s reality talking. It’s an unpredictable time and what did we learn about unpredictability and anxiety? Yeahhhhh. It’s okay to feel like some of this is unfair, because it is. But I guess what I’m saying is, we should try to lift ourselves and each other out of the mud as much as we can (I would put an Atreyu gif here except what am I, a monster?). This too shall pass, it’ll be another publishing war story. I really do believe what I said above about careers being a lot more resilient than we give them credit for.

I don’t know how to wrap this up other than to say sometimes your brain will be a jerk. Publishing doesn’t make it better, by its very nature. But you? Take a step back and look at what you have gotten right, what you’ve accomplished. Because the other thing that anxiety does? It erases that. That’s why the stories in our heads are so similar, no matter the stage we’re at as authors.

Don’t just own your fears, own your successes. Or do your best to. Or hit me up for a pep talk. I hope this helps. And have some ice cream. You’ve earned it.

I’m going to go do my pass pages and write the next book. Right after lunch.

WAIT: Did I do a whole blog post? Did you read it? Usually, these are newsletters, which you can sign up for below.

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Deal News! Cover Reveal! And Thoughts on Protecting Time

Thanks to everyone who kicked in on the Lexington Writer’s Room fundraiser — we are so pleased with how we did. Reminder: We’re taking on new fully vaccinated members now. Yay.

I do have some news items to share, including another glorious rom-com cover, but, first, an attempt to get back to using this as a space to think through things. One of the things I’m thinking about a lot at the moment is making and protecting time. The most precious resource a writer has, maybe, besides stubbornness. As things begin to reopen a bit, and return somewhat to normal, I am certain many of us have forgotten what it means to protect our time.

For many of you, it probably wasn’t an option for the past year, especially if you have children. For the rest of us, as things start to return to the previous state of business, there’s the temptation to say YES. TO EVERYTHING. YES, I will teach this. YES, I will go there. YES, I will do that favor. YES, let’s have this event or go to this place. And some of these are extremely good YESES.

I do my best to live by the rule of only saying yes to things I would say yes to if I had to do them tomorrow. Not agreeing to things that will disgruntle you at yourself for saying YES is important. Particularly, if you — like me — need to not feel all that busy in order to do your best work. When I’m in an intense writing period, I try to protect my space as much as possible. I put as few things on the calendar as I can. Because I know I need that time and space, even if I’m only actively writing during a couple hours of it. If I have a bunch of appointments or meetings, there goes the day. I’m not saying I always get to do this; sometimes life is busy and the work has to happen anyway and that’s okay. But it’s a great way to flirt with burnout (been there) and I’m trying not to do that anymore.

So, as we move ahead, and begin saying YES, a gentle reminder to remember that saying YES to what you need for your work is also important, valid, and something you absolutely can do. Even if it means saying no to other people and things that you wish you could say yes to (and that you don’t, real talk). I’ll be working on it too.

Speaking of work, I’ve been feeling incredibly energized this spring. If you follow me on social media, you may know that I signed with a second agent to handle my books for adult audiences, the wonderful Kate McKean at Howard Morhaim (and will continue to work with the wonderful Jennifer Laughran at Andrea Brown on kids/YA projects). Well, one of my news items is that Kate and I just sold our first book together. Another rom-com with St. Martin’s, and one I’m so excited to dig into and bring to life:

Y’all, this one’s going to be big fun.

And speaking of big fun, here’s the cover and description for The Date from Hell, aka Callie & Luke book two. The design is once again by Kerri Resnick (genius) and the illustrations by Louisa Cannell (so good). Voila!

About the book, coming April 2022:

After saving the world and stopping the apocalypse, Callie and Luke are looking forward to a quiet, romantic weekend together. When you’re human and dating the Prince of Hell, quiet moments are hard to come by. But their romantic weekend in Hell takes a turn when Lucifer tasks Callie and Luke with chasing a wayward soul around the world. If they can prove it’s possible to redeem a soul, Lucifer will allow the two of them to make some changes in Hell.

But this wayward soul, Sean, doesn’t have any interest in being redeemed. Instead, now that he’s back on Earth, he’s decided to take a leaf out of Callie and Luke’s book and wants to find the Holy Grail. Now Callie, Luke, their friends—and enemies—must race Sean around the globe on a Grail quest and bring peace between Heaven and Hell before they can finally (maybe) get around to that date.

In The Date from Hell, the sequel to Not Your Average Hot GuyNew York Times bestselling author Gwenda Bond brings the journey of Callie, Luke, and their friends to a wonderful close. This is another laugh out loud, action packed romantic adventure you won’t want to miss.

Preorder: 

Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/books/the-date-from-hell/9781250771766​
Amazon (Kindle): https://amzn.to/3uHkl08  (*Note that the paperback edition isn’t available yet for weird data reasons, but soon.)

B&N: https://bit.ly/3hiwcOt

IndieBound: https://bit.ly/2Qcq671

BAM: https://bit.ly/3w14ABp

Apple Books: https://apple.co/3ocrZgv

Kobo: https://bit.ly/3eEy7Lx

Google: https://bit.ly/3eHbEgX

Look how pretty they are together:


You can find all the preorder links for Not Your Average Hot Guy right here. Preorders are the most important thing you can do to support an author’s upcoming books! As I’m moving into a different career space, I have a lot riding on these and, also, I hope they will delight you. So if you can preorder, please do. *smiles non-creepily* (A p.s. for reviewers and bloggers: NYAHG is now available on Netgalley for your requesting pleasure.)

And that’s all for this week! Be well and say NO with abandon.

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A Very Giant NEWS Post!

Greetings, lovely humans. Um, this is such an overdue post/tinyletter. I look forward to getting back to newsletters are that are me hemming and hawing about the creative process, because this one is going to have a lot of news about Cool Projects That Help Feed Humans, Dogs and Cats, so buckle in.

Probably the most shameful thing about not having done a newsletter is that mine and Christopher’s second middle grade came out! At the end of May! This means you can now get two books where smart kids solve mysteries in a hotel for monsters by this crack husband-and-wife writing duo. The Lost Legacy is now out in paperback, and The Sphinx’s Secret is in hardcover. These are books we wrote for our childhood fantasy-adventure-loving selves, to delight each other, and for the children we love best. They make great gifts for pretty much every type of middle grade reader in your life, and hey, you might even dig them as an adult. We put lots of little jokes and references in for each other, so it’s a little like unpacking the layers in a Pixar movie. The Sphinx’s Secret has: a secret Cabinet of Wonders in the basement of the New York Public Library, sphinxes now and in ancient Egypt, time travel, a sword with a name, an evilish wizard, and a very good dog! Who can resist?


Get this series wherever fine books are sold (if they don’t have it in stock, they can order it for you). Handy links to Amazon, B&N, HarperCollins, and Indiebound. And if you or your kids read and enjoy, Amazon reviews are always appreciated. They help people find books!

(Speaking of which the Lois Lane series is also all now in paperback, with Triple Threat’s paperback release in May — but there is so much NEWS I’m not even going to belabor that.)

I’ve told you guys about the super-fascinating collaborative style of Serial Box before, and now I can finally blab the details of the serial I created and wrote with the AMAZING Rachel Caine and Carrie Ryan. Dead Air grew out of my love of true crime, radio shows and podcasts, my town of Lexington and accurate southern stories (!!!), and mysteries. And I got to do it with two of my favorite writers and people who are also into those things. The details:

Explore your true crime obsession in a whole new way with Serial Box’s latest multimedia innovation in storytelling from three of today’s hottest storytellers Gwenda Bond, Rachel Caine, and Carrie Ryan. 

Welcome to Dead Air, where M is for midnight, Mackenzie…and murder.

Mackenzie Walker wasn’t planning on using her college radio show to solve a decades old murder, but when she receives an anonymous tip that the wrong man may have taken the fall, she can’t resist digging deeper.

It doesn’t take long for Mackenzie to discover gaps in the official story. Several potential witnesses conveniently disappeared soon after the murder. The victim, a glamorous heiress and founder of a Kentucky horse-racing dynasty, left behind plenty of enemies. And the cops don’t seem particularly interested in discussing any of it.

But when the threats begin, Mackenzie knows she’s onto something. Someone out there would prefer to keep old secrets buried and they seem willing to bury Mackenzie with them. Thankfully, she’s getting help from a very unexpected source: the victim’s son, Ryan. The closer she gets to him, however, the more important it is for Mackenzie to uncover the truth before he gets buried alongside her.

Read or listen to weekly ebook and audio episodes of the serial novel Dead Air and then check out Mackenzie’s podcast for a uniquely immersive experience. Does the truth lie in the serial, the podcast…or somewhere in-between?

This is going to be SO COOL, you guys! And I have a special discount code you can use to order that gives you 25% off the entire first season of ten episodes — you’ll get weekly episodes as synced up audio and ebooks in a nifty free app on your phone (or on your desktop or other device, whichever you prefer) and then you can check out weekly episodes of the podcast that are timed to go with the novel.

You can find out more about all this and how Serial Box works (think HBO for reading) here: https://www.serialbox.com/deadair​

Or if you’re like, I don’t need anymore I want to ORDER PLEASE — bless you — go to:
http://serialbox.com/redeem​ and use the code DEADAIRAPO18

It works out to $10.50 or basically a buck an episode and is only good until July 31. I can’t wait for people to get this one. I’m so proud of what we made together. Being a showrunner is a lot of work, but really fun.

You may be like, Gwenda, that is enough news. Surely that’s all the news, but um, sorry? Two more things!

I’m writing the first Stranger Things novel, which is a prequel about Eleven’s mother Terry and her experience with MKUltra. Cool, huh? I’m in the deadline cave hard on this one, feeling so lucky and grateful, and having an absolute blast. It’ll be out in February!


Annnd last but not least, I’m co-hosting a new podcast called Cult Faves with the one and only Cher Martinetti (who founded SyFy Fangrrls and is its editorial mastermind). We’re exploring our shared obsession with cults with each of us picking and leading a discussion of a different cult each week. It’s been a lot of fun so far and our first episode just dropped — we discuss our first introduction to cults, why we’re so fascinated with them, and then dive right in on a little known cult called The Source Family. So check it out and consider leaving an iTunes review? We’re doing this all DIY and every share or subscribe helps. Plus, I think it’s going to be such a fun trip. Take it with us!

We’re on iTunes and most everywhere else (or will be soon) (you can also find us by searching!) — or you can listen from our Anchor page. Because I love you, I’ll give you a sneak preview of what we’re doing for next week’s episode — we’re going to be talking about all about a cult that never actually existed, the Satanic Panic of the 1980s. SUBSCRIBE, Y’ALL.

And that is truly all the news! For now. More soon. That is actual content. In the meantime, I hope summer is treating you nice.

A Very Giant NEWS Post! Read More »

Heres and Theres (+ a Little Supergirl Rant)

Time for another weekly update.

Hey, I learned how to do this and can now get my feet into footlocks in both sides.

 

Today’s new feat! Ow!

A photo posted by Gwenda Bond (@gwendabond) on

 

Someday I will manage to climb all the way to the top. First, apparently, I’m going to be doing more tricep push-ups. I can’t believe these are words that came out of my fingers, but they must be true. If you want to fly, you have to train and feel the pain.

Or something.

Definitely this morning’s class was a reminder I’m not supposed to sit at my desk for 10 or 11 hour blocks straight, because that way lies writer elbow flare-up.

Related: I finished up copyedits on Girl in the Shadows, and whew, the crushing relief that I’m actually really proud of this book and I so hope you guys like it too. This is going to be a big year for Cirque American things. I should be able to show you the gorgeous perfect cover very very soon. Maybe even sometime this week. We’ll see! And then there’s still more news after that.

Speaking of news (you see I’m all segue-ways today), I’ve officially launched the redesign process for Blackwood and The Woken Gods. So new shiny, preferred editions will be coming your way soon. Please to not continue pirating them like crazy in the meantime (I know none of you would ever, just grumble-mentioning).

Tomorrow morning — weather cooperating — I’m headed out to visit the secret lair of Subterranean Press and then it’s on to ConFusion for the weekend. (If you want to feel like you’re there, follow us on twitter where lots of live-tweeting will be happening.) I’m also doing a few programming things and here they are:

  • Saturday 10:00 AM Relating to Young Adult
    A lot of time is spent discussing how Young Adult and Adult interface, losing sight, perhaps, of the more important link between Middle Grade and Young Adult. What expectations are Middle Grade readers bringing into Young Adult? How do those expectations reflect the fiction they find as they move up a reading level? Can Middle Grade explain the glut of dystopias in Young Adult? Jenny Thurman, Courtney Allison Moulton, Merrie Haskell (M), Susan Dennard, Gwenda Bond
  • Saturday 4:00 PM Autograph Session 1
  • Sunday 12:00 PM The Business of Rejection
    Writing is a business built around rejection. Almost every writer in the industry has experienced it at some point, and many experience it constantly. Come learn how working writers deal with rejection, move past it, and embrace it for what it is. Amy Sundberg, Kameron Hurley, Greg van Eekhout, Dave Robison (M), Gwenda Bond

I’ll bring a handful of Lois swag with me, so grab me if you want some.

*

Thing the last…

supergirl-melissa-benoistDear Supergirl the Show:

This comes from a place of love.

Melissa Benoist is a delight, the rest of your cast is great, and I’m still very much enjoying the show overall. The writers have pulled off some delicious surprises and, more than that, you’ve gotten the feeling right. Buuuuut let’s stop with the rampant nonsense of insulting Lois Lane — with no one defending her — every time her name comes up. By continuing to do this, you tacitly acknowledge her prominence and importance as a character, only to then kick sand in her face and on her legacy.

This is made worse by the fact that she has no presence on the show to counteract these swipes. Clark gets to text his cousin; there’s no reason Lois wouldn’t have sent her a gift or a note too (if not directly, then via James or Clark). There’s also no reason James wouldn’t or shouldn’t come to her defense. They have a long history of mutual respect and friendship in the comics. And there’s no reason to go with the least interesting incarnation of the Lane sisters’ relationship, where they snipe at or about each other without the sense of underlying caring to go with it. Honestly, much as I adore Cat Grant and find her funny and a constant surprise who is one of my favorite things on the show, if her grudge against Lois was more based in a feeling of legitimate professional competition — with respect underneath the personal aspects — I’d find it much more interesting. But I could deal with that. It was Lucy’s joining the dismissive bashing of her sister last night that has me writing this now.

Make the characters more complicated in this regard, please. Fix this lapse in your otherwise burgeoning feminist show cred.

The Superman mythos has, at its best, always featured strong women and been welcoming to women readers and viewers. Lois Lane is an icon for a reason. It may seem she’s untouchable and everyone knows she’s fabulous and so such swipes don’t matter: but they do. Lois Lane is still routinely slammed (including in my mentions from time to time — my superpower is muting faster than a speeding bullet) by people who are threatened by the character’s existence and importance, even after 78 years. The Lois we love doesn’t match these comments. She isn’t an obnoxious glory hound who cares more about herself than the story. So why can’t the Supergirl show just find a simple way to acknowledge Lois Lane is a kick-ass reporter and a hero in her own right, and move on from this pattern? It can. Please do. I promise there will still be plenty of conflict left over.

And it will make a lot of us tremendously happy.

Love,

Your humble viewer

Heres and Theres (+ a Little Supergirl Rant) Read More »

My Year in Review 2015 + News for 2016

LoisLanefinalcoverI hardly even know where to start with this year — a busy, crazy, very good year. And a year that pushed me to a big decision I’d put off for a long time (more on that toward the end — no skipping!).

I started 2015 writing the first of the free Lois Lane prequel stories (now available for your kindle), and then it was full steam ahead into the release of Fallout. While all that was happening — including the release — I was hard at work on the sequel, Double Down.

Things like this happened:

And I did a ton of interviews; some of my favorites are linked here and here. I also got to go on tour with four of my favorite ladies in the universe. dangerousladies

Here’s hoping we can reprise Dangerous Ladies this year at some point. And you might find a little easter egg reference to it hidden in Double Down. I also went to some fabulous events and heard from a lot of readers, and was completely humbled by the reactions and support. Over the summer, I concentrated on writing the first draft of the companion novel to Girl on a Wire, which is titled Girl in the Shadows (I will have a cover to show you extremely soon!).

On the personal side, things were so busy and I was doing so much writing and publicity for Lois (while still going to my day job) that I started to have horrible back issues that ended up being a rib out of alignment. This took a couple of months of physical therapy to fix. In June, our beloved Emma the Dog went in for what was meant to be a routine, benign tumor removal only for us to be informed that she had malignant cancer, a giant tumor in her liver, and might only make it a few weeks, a month or two at most. This was also the day we got the offer on our middle grade book, because life is funny that way.

Somewhere in here, I realized that it was not actually normal to feel incredibly anxious ALL THE TIME. Finally, after nearly having a full-blown panic attack while we were in Atlanta for DragonCon and Decatur Book Festival (you probably didn’t know if you were there, I am good at covering), I went to my doctor and asked for anxiety meds. To say I should have done it far, far sooner is an understatement. We also celebrated our eleventh wedding anniversary in Atlanta. Best decision I ever made (the marriage, not celebrating in Atlanta;).

IMG_1331

All these stories make up a happy ending to this year. I discovered aerial silks, which I’d probably have remained too chicken to try without the anxiety meds, and the local fitness center I go to for aerial yoga and et cetera is now one of my favorite FAVORITE places. Also, I managed to finish another book without anything like the usual body woes. Magic. Me at my very first class:

IMG_1447 Emma the Dog started doing very well on a prednisone regimen and continues to do so. Just last week, she indulged in chocolate intended for a publishing house. (She recovered overnight and went desperately seeking more chocolate only to be DENIED.) IMG_1766

We finally got to tell y’all about the middle grade right before Thanksgiving. Writing this together completely creatively revitalized me at a time I was feeling burned out. It’s just so much fun, and I hope everyone else thinks so too.

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So, to recap writing-wise: I wrote two Lois short stories, Lois Lane: Double Down (92,000 words) and Girl in the Shadows (105,000 words) and co-revised Welcome to Hotel Monster (about 77,000 words) this year. While still also going to my day job of some seventeen years, which I have really hesitated to leave, though I’ve considered whether it was time for the past couple of years. I enjoy it. It makes a difference in the world. I have gotten to work with some amazing people. It was never dull.

But…it’s time. Some of you already know this, and I gave notice last week. Yes, I’m FINALLY taking the plunge and becoming a stay-at-home writer type. I’m SO excited to have more balance and to be able to focus more and really take advantage of the opportunities I’m lucky enough to have right now. My last day in the office will be next Wednesday. I’ll be snagging some insurance on kynect and working from home. I have a lot of projects I’m excited for, including a comics thing that I can’t wait to tell y’all about, and I’m playing around with a new novel idea or two. There’s a lot of travel coming up in 2016, plus two book releases plus the one I can’t divulge yet. Plus another middle grade to write! I’m also working on getting updated, redesigned editions of Blackwood and The Woken Gods out in e-book during the first couple of months this year.

I think, however, even with so much going on, that I’d still have been too scared to make the leap if it wasn’t for another opportunity that popped up at just the right time. I’m going to be working for Subterranean Press as their social media consultant starting in January. Oh, what fun we will have together on the twitters and the Facebook! Bill and Yanni are two of the most wonderful people in publishing, and I’m a long-time fan of theirs and the work they do. I’m THRILLED to get to be a part of it. Subterranean_press_logo

This also means I’ll be at ConFusion in Michigan at the end of January. And allll of this means that 2016 is going to be my year of embracing risks and twirling around in the air and who knows what it will bring, what life will look like by this time next year, and exactly what I’ll have written by then? Not me.

That’s the most exciting part. This is going to be fun.

(Also: buy my books. For everyone you know.)

My Year in Review 2015 + News for 2016 Read More »

She Lives + Cincy Event This Weekend!

My usual oops for disappearing. This time it was to finish up my draft of Girl in the Shadows, which — hooray! — I did and turned in yesterday. On to the next deadlines! The rest of the year is all revising and proposals and such, I believe: my favorite.

LoisLanefinalcoverBut first! I’ll be at Books by the Banks in Cincinnati tomorrow. If you’re in the area, don’t miss out. It’s a great time, a truly excellent festival, with so many fantastic writers under one roof signing books and meeting readers and doing fun panels and events. I’ll be part of the Teen Scene VIP Meet and Greet at 11 a.m., and otherwise around at my table where I’ll happily sign your books and present you with Lois Lane swag. Come say hi. An excellent place to pick up early holiday gifts as well.

I know I have not yet awarded the TWO advance copies of Double Down that were part of my bonus contest, but I promise I will do so as soon as I’m back home on Sunday. I do ye olde fashioned paper slips for entries and draw, a process which I will document. Thanks for entering. I suppose we need to start cooking up a good preorder campaign for next spring too. *twirls fingers*

What have I been up to when I haven’t been feverishly writing? Working on secret projects and possible projects and other writing-related stuff, of course. But for the first time in a long time — a long long long loooong time — I decided to try something for fun and give myself permission not to be good at it. Which is to say I started going to the fabulous Bella Forza studio here in town, taking intro to aerial silks.

Yesterday was my first aerial yoga class, and I’m having so much fun. Even though I’m bad at these things! I like the people there (both the instructors and the other people in the classes) a metric ton. I was talking to someone who started with the same idea yesterday, of just trying with no expectation of rocking it, and she was talking about how she can now hold herself up on the silks for a few seconds and that’s soooo much better than when she started. And we agreed there is a real pleasure in having your goal be to get stronger and have fun, and to know that you will still be completely mediocre. So, silks and related activities, I’m becoming a big fan. Also very proud of the impressive bruise I managed to give myself last week. What an athlete I must be! Ahem, wink.

Among the other good things of yesterday was this incredible, adorable fan art of Lois and Clark in Fallout. These illustrations are just perfection. So definitely go ogle and heart them. I do. Thank you so much to the wonderfully talented Amelia. You made my day.

Back soon with contest winners and other natterings.

She Lives + Cincy Event This Weekend! Read More »

What a Weekend, What a Year

What a weekend! From the crowded cosplay halls of Dragon*Con to the airy (and occasionally broiling) square at Decatur Book Festival and back again (and again). I talked comics and fantasy and Lois Lane and YA humor and circus things on panels and afterward, signed a lot of books and met so many wonderful readers, and, as always, saw too many friends and met too many new people to name them all. 

There’s a nice Daily Dragon recap by Brynna Owens of the Creating a Safe Space for Female Readers panel that featured Laurenn McCubbin and myself on Friday.

And I think people enjoyed the sneak peek (er, listen) to part of Double Down — again, I thank you guys who braved the Dragon Con parade insanity to get to the Hyatt basement.

The humor panel at Decatur was fun, as a humor panel should be.

We decided to go full dance party at the DBF party, and Terra made it happen.

And Truth or Dare at the hands of Kimberly Jones and Vania Stoyanova with Libba Bray, Terra Elan McVoy, Becky Goldstein Albertalli, David Arnold, Adam Silvera and Andrew Smith is already legend. Its songs and videos and dramatic readings are being immortalized all over Facebook and Twitter Valhalla, as they should be.


So many thanks to the wonderful DBF organizers and volunteers and Little Shop of Stories for being awesome, and to Bev Kodak and her YA lit track team at Dragon Con for the same (plus, the lovely comics track organizers!). Book people are the best people, and I’m so glad I get to live this bookish life with all of you.

The night we arrived in Atlanta, Christopher and I went up to the rotating restaurant on top of our hotel for dinner to celebrate our anniversary. And I remembered visiting it with Diana Gill almost exactly a year ago for a drink, and talking to her about how I thought I was making the right career choices, but how can you ever know? This was a few days before Girl on a Wire came out (the restaurant has a view of the building that’s the scene of Jules’ last building walk in the book) and a few days after Lois Lane: Fallout had been announced. Sitting up there, remembering that, and reflecting on the last twelve months… What a year this has been. And so Christopher and I had a toast and set goals for this coming one.

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think it’ll be good too.

What a Weekend, What a Year Read More »

Pretty Good Year

In fact, it was a good enough year that my head, heart, hands and at least one foot are in 2015 already–forward momentum is always a good thing. Or as Jules puts it in Girl on a Wire:

With motion comes purpose. With motion comes discovery.

But there's a value to taking stock and keeping a record too. And the amusement value of looking back from another year on, as I just did to last year's post (pretty on point, actually, though as always some things took longer to get to than I expected). I said last year that 2013 felt transitional, and it did. And so this past year, 2014, was more settled in many ways. Oh, sure, there was the usual anxiety and upheaval, but I also had a building sense that I was doing what I wanted to be, telling the stories I wanted to tell, with a better idea of how I want the story of my career and my life to take shape. Those are truly stories only we can tell, after all. On the practical side, it's also really nice to be paid well and have teams of people to work with who take care with and support your work.

I stopped feeling like some sort of fraud writer whose career would be snatched away–most days anyway–and like someone who just kept their eyes ahead and focused on doing the work. And that's my plan for 2015–to keep telling the stories I want to tell, while trying to get better at telling them, always, and to keep working with great people. I'm having more fun as a writer than I ever have, and I hope that translates to more fun for you as readers. Without you, I don't get to keep doing this. So please know your support means the world.

Another discovery? Lois Lane fans are truly the absolute best. I can't wait to get to share Fallout with you guys.

I only managed to finish two books last year, and one of them was a collaboration (which just got done literally yesterday, so cross everything; I'm really proud of that one). Amid doing a bunch of other things. There were swathes where not much writing got done, but that was tied to the not-good parts of 2014, which involved both my parents having serious surgeries at an overlapping time. They are both in much improved health now, and that's a huge relief and something I'm grateful for every day. (It also taught me a real lesson about how fragile my routines are and reaffirmed the lesson of always working ahead.) But I came out of the year with several projects I'd like to tackle at some point in the future and energy for the ones I'm working on now. And we took a marvelous trip to Portugal.

Writing stuff:

GIRL ON A WIRE – Thanks to all of you who've bought and read and recommended it to others. And please keep on doing so! It's hard to believe, but it's only been out for a handful of months and I've been too busy writing to do that much promotion, other than a few events and a tweet here or there. But people are still finding it, and that's all due to the publisher and you guys. The reception to this book makes my heart feel many sizes bigger. The Cirque thanks you guys. Significant events in blog posts: Kindle First launch  and Release Day.

The announcement of LOIS LANE: FALLOUT – What a whirlwind that was! And we're just four months away from the official release now, y'all. Four. Months. I'm so grateful for the early reactions this book has gotten. Significant events in blog posts: The Secret is Out (!!!) and Media Round-Up. (Having been the recipient of many excellent Superman-themed T-shirts and sweaters and pajamas over the holidays, I'm hoping this is a hit at least partly so maybe we could get some more Lois-themed garb. Who's with me? Even just the cool name treatment from the cover. A girl can dream. 😉

image from www.gwendabond.comLooking ahead…

LOIS LANE: FALLOUT - This is going to be my year of Lois, and there'll be much ado from me around the launch, I'm sure. This is going to be a year of firsts–my first Winter Institute, my first BEA appearance, my first Many Other Things. I'm so so excited, still, to get to contribute to the legacy of one of the most iconic, incredible characters ever and, oh, do I hope you guys enjoy this book. Also, Lois is one of the funnest characters to write, period. When stuck, I just ask: What Would Lois Lane Do? Voila! Solution. Hashtag: #WWLLD

And I'll also be writing TWO MORE BOOKS in 2015 that I can't tell you about quite yet. (Hopefully soon, at least for one of them!) But there will be at least two new books by me for you in 2016. And I can't wait to get them written.

More surprises coming this spring! Including a completely revamped website (finally!). Other things I'm looking forward to: a retreat in Mexico in February and a retreat in South Carolina in April. I'm hoping life will also surprise me (and Christopher!) in good ways, and that maybe a leap I've been eyeing for a long while will become possible.

Other Significant Blog Posts of the Year:

I didn't blog that much last year, but there were a handful of longer posts people seemed to enjoy, in chronological order.

Happiest of New Year's to you all. I hope 2015 is a time of marvels.

Pretty Good Year Read More »

Miscellaneous Hijinks and Upcoming Event

Ah, World Fantasy was such fun — so many of my favorite people in one place. While the usual woes of not getting to meet/see everyone All The Time exists, I got to spend a happy-making number of hours hiding out and gabbing with dear friends. Yay.

Also, writing Catwoman has changed my dear Genevieve… Here she is stealing my earring at the mass signing:

We had two fabulous meals at Jaleo, both of which required sampling of the featured cocktail — the Mascieta, a concoction of brandy, lemon, saffron syrup, muddled plum wedges and egg white that instantly transports the drinker to the 1930s, specifically The Thin Man movies.

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The second time it was so good that we promptly came back and bid on these fabulous papercut pieces by the amazing Kathleen Jennings in the art show. And we won them. Yip!

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I regret nothing.

Upcoming event! I'll be at the Kentucky Book Fair this Saturday. Come get a copy of Girl on a Wire, which I will scribble in. They make excellent x-mas presents. (As always, if you're far away or can't make the event, you can get signed copies from Morris Book Shop and Joseph-Beth Booksellers, and I'm happy to stop in and personalize 'em.) I'll be on Curtains @ 8 on WUKY tonight, along with some other authors who'll be at the book fair.

And I have some news, which I cannot talk about yet but yay:

Last but not least, the wonderful Catherine McKenzie (have you read Hidden? soooo good) named Girl on a Wire one of "5 Great Reads for Your Book Club" over at the Huffington Post recently: "To paraphrase The Princess Bride, there's mystery, wire walking, trapezes, fights and a great kiss. Highly recommended for YA focused book clubs, particularly." *beams*

Miscellaneous Hijinks and Upcoming Event Read More »

Miscellany + Local Event

A few more Lois-y things:

Hmm, what else? I have an event this weekend at the Woodford County Library. These are always fun, not least because our PENS ARE ON FIRE (not really, that would be dangerous). The details:

  • Pens on Fire – Young Adult Authors: Come hear popular Young Adult authors talk about their work, writing tips, and paths to publication. Authors include Gwenda Bond, Sarah Combs, C.C. Marks, Katie McGarry, and Heather Sunseri. Free – Sign up today! 9/6/14, 2-4pm, Main Library.

And last but not least:

You can still enter to win the fancy Paperwhite with the custom Goawfinalcover featuring the gorgeous Girl on a Wire cover illustrated and designed by Neil Swaab: just sign up for the newsletter or comment on that post with something you love or hate about the circus. Contest ends Friday at noon.

If you snagged the book on special, read it and like it, please consider dropping a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads or spreading the word wherever you like best. And if you haven't snagged it, well, what are you waiting for? Lee Child totally edged me down in the rankings. *wink* I kid! Feel free to wait and buy a hard copy. Or ask your library to order it. Basically: please to buy or otherwise legally procure wherever you like, read, and let me or the world know what you think. Without you lovely readers, I don't get to do this. And I like doing this.

Now it's our tenth wedding anniversary, so there must be a little celebrating, and there's another book to finish. So *poof*.

Miscellany + Local Event Read More »

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