Peter Rabbit in the Loch Ness

The Times has an excerpt from a letter by Beatrix Potter offering a scientific opinion on the Loch Ness monster’s humps:

Armed with an innate understanding of frogs, toads and newts, she wrote in 1934 to the author of a book on the Loch Ness Monster: “May I hazard a suggestion about the humps? These beasts — whatever they are — frequent deep waters. They are able to sustain immense variations of pressure. I suggest that the humps mainly result from a power of self inflation under a very elastic skin for the purpose of equalising pressure. Frogs & toads, especially the latter, have power of inflation. Toads let off acrid water. Their inflation is in the belly. But it is conceivable that this beast may have a very loose elastic skin all round its body.”

(Via Maud.)

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Sweet, Sweet Still-Beating Hearts

Jeff Ford went to see Apocalypto, and offers his take (undoubtedly better than the movie*). The bottom line is probably this:

If you’re not partial to the sight of hearts being ripped out while still beating and being shown to their previous owners, you might not want to check this out.

*Which I will see, absolutely, not because I particularly think I’ll like it or it’ll be good**, but because I’ve been reading a lot about that part of the world during that period and I want to admire the make-up and costuming and spectacle of it.

**Actually, it sounds like it probably is good in the way you go see a "good movie," but not in the way I necessarily mean here.

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More Desk-Cleaning Fun (Updated)

This morning when I think I’m leaving for work I step outside into a paper storm. It’s trash day. 

Yes, that’s right. Some (not so) nice person went rummaging through our trash/recycling bin between 7 and 7:30 a.m. this morning, broke open a bag filled with the discards from my desk cleaning, and rejected them again — all over the street.

Sailing down our block and half the next one in the wind of rush hour traffic are: Trampoline postcards, a print-out from a PDF of Kate Wilhelm’s Storyteller (from before it came out), various chapters of Aztec Dance Tunes, and other miscellaneous crap (an old computer manual, CD-ROMs, old floppy disks, etc.). I would have taken a picture, but we had a limited time window in which to clean up the mess before the actual garbage guys showed.

Armed with trash bags, Mr. Rowe and I canvassed the blocks, as if participating in a litter clean-up game show of some kind. The neighbors came out and helped with the worst of it, then had to leave for work. Half-way down the block, I happen on a clutch of pages from my novel.

Let me tell you, there’s nothing like picking up an early draft of your book off the street to put things in perspective. While I’m having this little moment, two ladies approach with armfuls of paper. Not realizing they have actually wandered into an indie movie scene wrought with ironic symbolism, they assume it’s the end of Wonder Boys. Or so it seems at first.

"You must be a teacher," says one.

"Yes," I lie, because it seems the most efficient response.

The gap-toothed blonde hands me a huge stack of my novel.

"This is all trash," I tell her. "Someone dumped it out a few minutes ago."

"Oh," she says. "I thought it was something important."

Her friend says, "I thought it was trash."

"It is," I agree, and send them on their way.

(But, hey, they both came back to help. Faith in human nature and all that.)

UPDATE:

Christopher sends the following note:

Found a few minutes ago blown up against the architecture firm next to JONK down on Third Street.

A single piece of paper, BLANK, except for a header reading: Bond: Aztec Dance Tunes: 66.

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For Shame

Spot the error in this NYT story about the dragon design for Eragon (I’ll help by bolding it):

Mr. Fangmeier said the 22-year-old author of the “Eragon” novel, Christopher Paolini, had already given Saphira enough lore and mystery to sustain her as a character. He focused instead on one aspect: the business of dragon flight. To that end the filmmaking team spent a lot of time debating the degree to which Saphira’s wings should or should not resemble the standard bat wing. Eventually they added some feathers, though not so many as to tip the creature toward the canine-looking dragon Atreyu from the 1984 fantasy movie “The NeverEnding Story.”

Tsk, tsk. Everyone knows that Atreyu was a hot boy, not a dragon. The dragon is Falkor. And could it not be mentioned that the movie is based on a book as well? (And a better book, at that.)

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Monday Hangovers

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Desk-Cleaning Fun

Cleaning the desk, which led to thirty minutes of searching for "The Incredibly Hideous Tale of the Incredibly Hideous Vampire," a little comic C made a few years back. Sadly, it appears to have been eaten. (Spoiler: The Incredibly Hideous Vampire did not even realize he had a flowerpot on his head!)

I did find a rough version of the first two pages for a sequel however. Which I reproduce below for your edification:

Page1

Page2

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