Is Giant Produce Unnatural?

Is it wrong for me to suddenly want to grow a giant pumpkin now that we’re homeowners?

I should say that it runs in my family. My paternal grandfather once grew a squash so big he got to be pictured next to it in the newspaper. It was almost immediately stolen. But, there’s a happy ending–he put a chastising ad in the classifieds about how much work the thing had taken to cultivate and how only an extremely low form of life would steal it and the squash reappeared on the back porch.

6 thoughts on “Is Giant Produce Unnatural?”

  1. Wrong?
    I would say there’s nothing more American than growing enormous produce.
    Not even apple pie.
    Well, unless it’s a really huge apple pie made with apples the size of pumpkins.

  2. If you were true Americans, you would not only grow giant pumpkins, but also build an appropriately-scaled punkin chucker in your newly-acquired garage.
    Then sell the patent rights to the US military.

Comments are closed.

Scroll to Top