Is it wrong for me to suddenly want to grow a giant pumpkin now that we’re homeowners?
I should say that it runs in my family. My paternal grandfather once grew a squash so big he got to be pictured next to it in the newspaper. It was almost immediately stolen. But, there’s a happy ending–he put a chastising ad in the classifieds about how much work the thing had taken to cultivate and how only an extremely low form of life would steal it and the squash reappeared on the back porch.